Onetime Wisconsin-based insurance giant / MON 5-14-12 / Line of Canon cameras / Tolkien's talking tree race / Impatiently endure time passing

Constructor: John Dunn

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: SYNS. (70A: Roget offerins (abbr.) ... or, loosely, the firsta nd last words of 20-, 28-, 48-- and 56-Across) — "[verb] THE [noun]" phrases where, yes, the verb and noun (when one of the two is converted from verb to noun or vice versa) are, loosely, SYNonymS

Word of the Day: WAUSAU (48D: Onetime Wisconsin-based insurance giant) —

[Near as I can tell, an insurance co. that was bought by Liberty Mutual in 1999, and then retired as a brand in 2009: "Wausau, founded in Wausau, Wis., in 1911, was one of the earliest writers of workers comp coverage. It adopted a train depot as its logo in 1954 and built a brand that became widely recognized over the next 50 years." (Business Insurance)]

• • •

Not a big fan of this one, first because the reveal is so weak (an abbrev. is never a great payoff), and second because it just wasn't interesting. Yes, I can imagine scenarios wherein the first and last words mean the same thing. In the case of WASH THE LAUNDRY, I really don't have to go very far to make them match up. I mean, imagining those words as SYNS. doesn't even require me to think outside the laundry room. The theme "works" just fine, but it's dull. Fill is mostly very solid, with a nice handful of long answers (except SUCH THAT (5D: So), which is a perfectly adequate phrase ... just not "nice"). I had several early missteps in this puzzle—way more writeovers than I normally have in a Monday puzzle. Right away, with 1A: Money owed (DEBT), I was off my game. Got DVD at 1D and then thought, re: 1A,  "... DUES?" Crosses, cleared this up quickly, as they generally will on Monday, but I went on to make several more wrong initial guesses in quick succession: DELAY for DETER (14D: Hinder); AMP for ADO (23A: Hoopla) (this is only because I had yet another misguess in place—BLOW PAST for BLOW OVER (3D: Pass without effect, as a storm); and DITZ for SIMP (5A: Lamebrain). So the puzzle wasn't hard, so much as it was (in parts, to my brain) vague. At least at first. Once I got out of the N / NW, except for a brief EOS / IOS dust-up (55A: Line of Canon cameras), I flew pretty quickly around the grid, stopping only at the end, in the SW, where WAUSAU was a complete mystery to me. There's something interesting about the relative symmetry of the OVER in BLOW OVER and the UNDER in UNDERWAY. Also, I enjoy TALL ONES (38D: Some brewskis). Other than that, this one's already fading in my rearview.



Theme answers:

• 20A: Impatiently endure passing time (WATCH THE CLOCK) — I'd've gone with PUNCH THE CLOCK
• 28A: Win by enough points, in sports gambling (COVER THE SPREAD)
• 48A: Perform a routine household chore (WASH THE LAUNDRY)
• 56A: Pass through a crisis safely (TURN THE CORNER)

First thought for 30D: Have a nontraditional marriage, in a way (ELOPE) was BE GAY (hey, it fits). That wayward thought was about the most entertaining part of the solve. This is perfectly acceptable work. But it's not gonna stick.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

PS if you are not a Sunday-puzzle type of person, you probably missed my announcement yesterday that I was featured on the CBS Evening News on Sat. night. You can view the clip here.

PPS—Attention: Constructors (and Would-Be Constructors) Under 30 — Ben Tausig will be editing a collection of crosswords called "Twenty Under Thirty"; crosswords will be selected by a panel that includes me. The selection process will be blind. Here is the official press release.


About "Twenty Under Thirty" 

"Twenty Under Thirty" will be a standalone app featuring crosswords by twenty of the top young puzzle constructors in the world. Submission is open to anyone under thirty years of age, regardless of where she or he has published work in the past. Payment for selected entries will be $250--more than any newspaper daily in the United States--and participants will be featured prominently in announcements and marketing campaigns for the app. We want selection to feel like the honor that it is, and hope also to help young constructors make a name for themselves. Although the judging process will be blind, "Twenty Under Thirty" encourages submissions from groups underrepresented in puzzlemaking, including women and people of color.

Selections will be judged by a panel of experts, including New York Times regulars Elizabeth Gorski and Brendan Emmett Quigley, and blogger Michael Sharp (aka Rex Parker at rexwordpuzzle.blogspot.com). The winning puzzles will be edited by Onion A.V. Club and Ink Well xwords editor Ben Tausig, and the app will be produced by crossword app maker CRUX for iPhone and iPad.

Submission Instructions

-Entry is limited to one puzzle per constructor. Completed, clued puzzles should be emailed to twentyunderthirty@gmail.com by midnight, June 20, 2012. 

-IMPORTANT: In order for the judging to be blind, please make the file name of your submission (whether it is a .ccw, .puz, .doc, .pdf, etc) a random string of ten numbers and remove all indication of your own name from the puzzle and file information. You may submit from your personal email account, but I don't want any way of knowing that your puzzle is linked to you. If you have questions that might reveal your theme, simply email me from an anonymous (or a friend's) address.

-All submissions must be wholly original, and neither I nor the panelists can know that they are yours. (i.e., if you've workshopped an idea with Brendan, then come up with a different idea).

-We are looking for work in the range of Tuesday-Friday New York Times difficulty. Both themed and themeless puzzles will be considered, and judged within the same pool. It's up to you to decide which type best reflects your talents. Since we expect to receive upward of 40 puzzles for 20 spots, plan to submit your very best stuff. Genre-bending themes are strongly encouraged; feel free to extend grids and to do things that aren't seen every day. (The app can accommodate special grids and gimmicks). Add-a-letter and three-of-a-kind themes are very unlikely to be chosen unless they feature a truly excellent twist. Amaze us.

-In general, puzzles should be 15x15, but we will also accept 16x15, 15x16, and 16x16 sizes.

-Puzzles should conform to the usual high standards of construction--avoid excessive black squares, have no more than 78 words, stay away from lousy entries such as long partials and pluralized names, and try to weed out repetition in the grid. You know the drill. 

-Aim to submit work that feels fresh. No specific bad words or references are off-limits, but you'll get a lot more credit for cluing PUBES as "Strands below?" than dropping in QUEEF because you feel like it. Likewise, include literature, film, music, food, and sex content that skews young, but be sure to keep it clever, not just edgy.

-Crossword Compiler or Across Lite files are preferred, but any other reasonable format is acceptable. As long as we can see the completed grid with numbers and the corresponding clues, you're in good shape.

Good luck!

Ben

Rapper who came to prominence as member of Wu-Tang Clan / MON 5-7-12 / Storage for fast Web page retrieval / Opiate used in cough syrup / What Dubliners call homeland / Shaggy's nickname canine friend

Constructor: Guy Tabachnick

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: The Immaterial World — theme answers contain words that are (roughly) synonyms of "apparition"

Word of the Day: GHOSTFACE KILLAH (20A: Rapper who came to prominence as a member of the Wu-Tang Clan) —

Dennis Coles (born May 9, 1970), better known by his stage name Ghostface Killah, is an American rapperand prominent member of the Wu-Tang Clan. After the group achieved breakthrough success in the aftermath of Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers), the members went on to pursue solo careers to varying levels of success. Ghostface Killah debuted his solo-career with Ironman in 1996, which was well received by music critics. He has continued his success over the following years with critically acclaimed albums such asSupreme Clientele (2000) and Fishscale (2006). His stage name was taken from one of the characters in the 1979 kung fu film Mystery of Chessboxing.

Ghostface Killah is critically acclaimed for his loud, fast-paced flow, and his emotional stream-of-consciousness narratives containing cryptic slang and non-sequiturs. In 2006, MTV included him on their honorable mention list of The Greatest MCs of All Time, while the editors of About.com placed him on their list of the Top 50 MCs of Our Time (1987–2007), praising him as "one of the most imaginative storytellers of our time." Ghostface's storytelling abilities have widely been praised, with Q magazine calling him "rap's finest storyteller." (wikipedia)

• • •

Wow. I don't know if Mr. Tabachnick is a young man, but he sure plays one on T.V. This is what easy puzzles should look like in the 21st century. Theme is very basic — phrases share words that are synonyms — but those phrases are solid and current, and the rest of the fill (and cluing!) is alive and kicking, wherever possible. AGHA and IOTA and A-RONI, like the poor, will always be with us, but when you mix them up with DOPE (as clued—53D: Extraordinary, in slang), HOOK UP (as clued—9D: Begin a tryst), CACHE (as clued—2D: Storage for fast Web page retrieval) and BALLER (45D: One playing hoops), their spoilage capacity is severely diminished. SCOOB! (1A: Shaggy's nickname for his canine friend) Ha ha, I could barely believe that was real. I mean, it was a gimme, but made sure the crosses confirmed it, one by one. I found this puzzle very easy, though it was no record, largely because I lost precious seconds staring in slack-jawed awe at how college-y the clues were. I mean that in the best possible way.


I do, however, feel for the tens of thousands of regular crossword solvers who will Never have heard of GHOSTFACE KILLAH. That's a lot of grid territory to concede to someone who is gonna be virtually unknown to (I'm just guessing here) *most* crossword solvers over 50. Just a guess. I'll be thrilled to be wrong. I've been on the other side of this musical / pop cultural equation, and it's not always pleasant. I hope that at least the sheer wackiness of the guy's name brings you at least some measure of happiness.

My kingdom for a picture of GHOSTFACE KILLAH and ARLEN SPECTER together!

Theme answers:

• Rapper who came to prominence as a member of the Wu-Tang Clan (GHOSTFACE KILLAH) 
• 25A: Former Republican-turned-Democratic senator from Pennsylvania (ARLEN SPECTER)
• 43A: Form of sparring (SHADOWBOXING) — GZA (pronounced "jizzah"), another member of Wu-Tang clan, had a 1996 single called ... "Shadowboxin'"; can't make this stuff up. Well, actually, you probably could, but I'm not. (WARNING: Video contains tons of profanity)

• 53A: Whiskey or vodka (DISTILLED SPIRIT)

Bullets:

• 3D: "America's Finest News Source," with "The" ("ONION") — I would say that this, too, is youth-oriented, but I'm 42, and it's oriented right at me, so ... you're gonna have to add "middle-aged-oriented" to the mix. 
• 41D: Opiate often used in cough syrup (CODEINE) — had some when I was a teenager, following oral surgery. Never again. Stomach ... unhappy.
• 10D: Langauge offshoots (DIALECTS) — hmm. I never thought of them as "shooting off," but I guess that's right. I like the answer, just as I like its symmetrical counterpart, RED STATE (36D: It leans to the right)—yet another nice 21st-century answer.
• 44D: Ukrainian port whose staircase is a setting for "The Battleship Potemkin" (ODESSA) — you had me at "Ukrainian port" (and the "O"). So much so that I never saw the whole (Long) clue until now. Some nice cinematic trivia for you. I like that the puzzle isn't just up-to-date, it's all over the map. Bobbing, weaving, SHADOWBOXING its way into my heart.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Quaint lodging / MON 4-30-12 / Group that includes North South East West / Chesapeake Bay delicacy / Cheese popular with crackers / Bygone Italian coins

Constructor: Susan L. Stanislawski

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: B AND B (28D: Quaint lodging hinted at by the outsides of 18-, 20-, 28-, 42-, 51- or 55-Across) — theme answers are two-word phrases where first word begins with "B" and second word ends with "B"

Word of the Day: BLUE CRAB (28A: Chesapeake Bay delicacy) —

Callinectes sapidus (from the Greek calli- = "beautiful", nectes = "swimmer", and Latin sapidus = "savory"), the Chesapeake or Atlantic blue crab, is a crustacean found in the waters of the western Atlantic Ocean, the Pacific coast of Central America and the Gulf of Mexico. On the Pacific coast of Central America it is largely ignored as a food source as picking the meat is considered too difficult. It is the Maryland state crustacean and the subject of an extensive fishery. (wikipedia)

• • •

Neither offensive nor remarkable. Straight over the plate. Ably but not excitingly filled. It's a Monday puzzle. It happened. And though the core theme concept isn't eye-popping, the resulting theme answers (six of them!) are at least interesting. I can verify that puppies do indeed love BELLY RUBs (42A: Activity a puppy loves). As do dogs. As do some people. I flew through this, with one notable sticking point—see, I got BILLY BOB (20A: Actor Thornton of "Sling Blade"), and then got B AND B, and so (not having read the B AND B clue thoroughly) I assumed that each word in the phrase would *start* with "B." (I must've gone through BELLY RUB by that point, but somehow that didn't disabuse me of my incorrect assumption). Anyway, imagining the Bs would start both words in the phrase meant that when I got to 18A: Group that includes North, South, East and West, I had double-trouble. First, I'd made an incorrect assumption about the theme, and second, bridge??? I know nothing about bridge. I honestly don't even know what a BRIDGE CLUB is. I know a game of bridge has ESNW positions, but I don't know how "club" fits in. Is it the normal meaning of club? And if so, isn't saying a BRIDGE CLUB includes NSEW a bit like saying a book club includes words? As you can see, I'm out of my depth with bridge. Anyway, I had BRIDGE (easy) but then put in a B for the next letter and promptly got stuck. Also, imagined answer could be BRIDGE BETS. Eventually just solved the short stuff in that NE corner and everything worked itself out. Rest of the grid was a snap.




Other theme answers:

• 51A: Service provided at Meineke and Pep Boys (BRAKE JOB)
• 55A: Sparring injury, perhaps (BRUISED RIB)

Sales of new vinyl are actually up in recent years, so the "Old" part of 27D: Old LPs and 45s is patently unnecessary (actually, even if sales weren't up, it would be unnecessary). Everyone has some bit of tired, short fill they find particularly irksome. I have never thought about ranking said fill in terms of how much it bugs me, but I think if I could get rid of one short answer—just abolish it from all future puzzles—it would be ENNE. I do this on two counts—first, it's a suffix, and no one (least of all the constructor) actually *wants* suffixes in a grid. They are always a last resort. So, there's that. But ENNE is particularly annoying because its most common clue (today's [Feminine suffix]), can be two things: ETTE or ENNE. So you can't just write it in, move on, and *forget* about it (which is all anyone wants to do with a suffix). You have to actually work crosses. Now, I'm not opposed to work, but I am opposed to working for *that*. For no payoff. When crud adds *any* level of difficulty, it stands out more and irks more. "We're gonna make this puzzle a little more challenging by yanking one of your hairs out at the two-minute mark, OK?" That might actually be preferable to encountering ENNE again.



Please understand that I'm not faulting this puzzle for containing ENNE. *Lots* of puzzles have contained ENNE, some of them quite fine, I'm sure. I'm just saying that if I had a magic wand, ENNE would disappear. Forever.

Clue-wise, 10D: Something always sold in mint condition? (TIC TAC) is the big winner by far (despite the fact that there are non-mint TIC TACs; I like the orange).

Oh, also, [Cheese popular with crackers]? That's pretty racist.

[emoticon indicating lack of seriousness]

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Ruler after diet / MON 4-23-12 / Ruler in vegetable garden / Cone-shaped shelter / Folded Mexican dish / Ruler with custard desserts

Constructor: Michael David

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: Rulers — words ending in "KING" are reimagined (in the clues) as phrases related to KINGs

• 4D: Ruler after a diet? (THIN KING)
• 20A: Ruler on a golf course? (PAR KING)
• 10D: Ruler on a beach? (TAN KING)
• 20D: Ruler in a Utah city? (PROVO KING)
• 40D: Ruler with custard desserts? (FLANKING)
• 42D: Ruler in a W.C.? (LOO KING)
• 53A: Ruler in a vegetable garden? (PEA KING)

Word of the Day: CLOY (57D: Fill to excess) —

v., cloyed, cloy·ing, cloys.

v.tr.
To cause distaste or disgust by supplying with too much of something originally pleasant, especially something rich or sweet; surfeit.

v.intr.
To be too filling, rich, or sweet.

[Short for obsolete accloy, to clog, from Middle English acloien, from Old French encloer, to drive a nail into, from Medieval Latin inclāvāre : Latin in-, in; see in-² + Latin clāvāre, to nail (from clāvus, nail).]

Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/cloy#ixzz1sourhDlt

• • •

LOO KING, but no PEE KING?

Despite the abundance of KINGs (i.e. tons of squares that are easily filled in once you catch on to the theme), this one played harder-than-normal for a Monday, for several reasons. First, there's 1A: Late, as a library book (PAST DUE). Tens of thousands of people will either think or (as I did) write in OVERDUE, as that is the more commonly used phrase. The phrase in the grid is totally valid, just not the one that is likely to leap to mind first (if, like my wife, you are smart and check the crosses before writing anything in, then this answer won't affect you much, if at all). Then there's the fact that it's not obvious where the theme answers are in this grid, so when you first encounter a "?" clue, it's not going to be clear that it's theme material. Could just be any old "?" clue. This was true for me at 4D: Ruler after a diet? (THIN KING). I was sure that the pun was on "diet" and that (because of "ruler") I was supposed to think of "diet" in the sense of "legislative assembly" (e.g. Diet of Worms) (wife, strangely, had same thought). Then there was the fact that the SUMMON (32D: Order to come) / FUME (40A: Be furious) nexus was just tough. Those clues were hard (I thought "to come" meant "in the future" and assumed [Be furious] was RAGE). Both wife and I got hung up there. Then there's the meaning of CLOY that I was not familiar with (57D: Fill to excess). I knew "be sickeningly sweet," but not "overfill." At four letters, of course I wanted SATE there (also wanted EEK at 56A: Comic strip cry, since I was going off the K—if clue had said ["Cathy" cry], I wouldn't have made that error). Then there's PULE (53D: Whine). It's a word. Just not that common a word. I've seen it only in crosswords. Wife claims never to have seen it.

So this played more Tuesday than Monday. Quality-wise, it has pluses and minuses. The theme is actually cute and kind of funny, and though having So Many (a cloying number of) KINGs in the grid feels excessive, the amusement offered by the clues as well as the relative difficulty of the rest of the grid mostly made up for what could have been an annoying repetitive feature. The fill undoubtedly could've been stronger in more expert hands. There's a Lot of crosswordese (and whatever TING is). But overall, I think this is a decent effort. Maybe I'm biased because my (real) first name is Michael and my middle name is David and so it looks like 2/3 of me constructed this puzzle. But I doubt it.



Thanks to (crossword constructor) Alex Boisvert for recently tweeting about the ROYGBIV mnemonic (66A: Rainbow mnemonic). I'm sure I would've gotten it easily anyway, but Alex's tweet ensured that the answer was right at the top of my brain.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Spelling clarification that Aziz might use twice / MON 4-16-12 / Common marmalade ingredient / Cartoondom's Deputy / Biblical kingdom east of Dead Sea

Constructor: Lynn Lempel

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: Foodies — two-word idiomatic expressions for types of people, where the second word is a kind of food

Word of the Day: MATZOH (29A: Bread eaten during Passover) —

n., pl., -zos, also -zohs (müt'səz, -sōs') or -zot or -zoth (mät-sôt').
A brittle, flat piece of unleavened bread, eaten especially during Passover.

[Yiddish matse, from Hebrew maṣṣâ.]

Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/matzo#ixzz1s9MJxvKj

• • •

This grid is great. I don't think the theme is as tight as it could be, but I also don't care. Interesting theme answers, cool long Downs, no real groaners—all the makings of a decent Monday. I object slightly to HUMAN PRETZEL, since a. it applies to very few people (primarily contortionists; b. it applies to a person only when he/she is *doing* a very particular thing (unlike all the others); c. answer relies on a *literal* connection between food and person in a way that none of the others do; d. it's got HUMAN in it, thus forcing food-human connection in a way that none of the others do. Also the clue on SWEETIE PIE is terrible. The phrase [Precious sort] implies a *kind* of person who is "precious" in the sense of having affected mannerisms. Something about "sort" just feels wrong. That phrase calls more for [Lovable person]; or else ["Sugar"] or ["Hon"] or ["Darlin'"]. I see now that "sort" is in every theme clue (ugh), so I guess if I really wanted to keep that theme link in the clues (I wouldn't), I'd've gone with [Lovable sort].


Theme answers:

• 17A: Sexy sort (STUD MUFFIN)
• 23A: Influential sort (BIG ENCHILADA)
• 39A: Amiable sort (GOOD EGG)
• 50A: Supple sort (HUMAN PRETZEL)
• 59A: Precious sort (SWEETIE PIE)

This took me slightly longer than my average Monday, but only slightly, and that slowness was largely self-inflicted. I hedged at MATZOH, thinking there might be a billion ways to spell it (there are only a couple), and then I wrote in WIPED at 37A: Tired (WEARY), mostly because that is the phrase my wife uses—so much so that it's kind of a household joke. Then (less surprisingly) I wrote in ACHE for PINE (45A: Yearn (for)). I knew that area was a wreck, so rather than try to fix it immediately, I relied on the middle and ends of the long Downs to bail me out—once I had ZEBRA and -GE RIND, the front ends were very gettable and the mistakes I'd made ironed themselves out.


Bullets:

• 1A: Yankee's crosstown rival (MET) — balked at this one. Instinctively wanted BOS or SOX because, honestly, when was the last time you could consider the METs a real "rival" to the Yankees? 2000?
• 1D: Reader's notes alongside the text (MARGINALIA) — great word. I love finding MARGINALIA in my old books. Weird to see what people think is important.
• 30D: Spelling clarification that Aziz might use twice (Z AS IN ZEBRA) — insane, and easily the best thing about the grid. Coincidentally, I had just been looking at a picture of Aziz Ansari at Coachella on Buzzfeed's Facebook page (That is a sentence that just five years ago would have made absolutely no sense to me, and probably makes only partial sense to millions of people still).
• 13D: Biblical kingdom east of the Dead Sea (MOAB) — never saw the clue. Always thought it was weird this place didn't rhyme with "lobe."
• 31D: Common marmalade ingredient (ORANGE RIND) — we've eaten our way through the chocolate chip cookies this weekend, so I might have to make do with marmalade on toast for dessert tonight. Worse things have happened.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Former congresswoman Bella / MON 4-9-12 / Synthesizer designer Robert / Quantum mechanics pioneer Robert / Mattress invaders / Deadly 1966 hurricane with Spanish derived name

Constructor: Nancy Kavanaugh

Relative difficulty: Easy

THEME: Tasty — theme answers begin with categories of taste:

• SOUR GRAPES (17A: Negative reaction to failure)
• SALTY LANGUAGE (23A: Sort of words that sailors are famous for) —whoa, is that the etymology? A sailor can be a "salt," so ... swearing = SALTY LANGUAGE??? If that is true, I did not know that.
• BITTER ENEMIES (47A: Feuding families, e.g.)
• SWEET TOOTH (57A: Sugar craving)

Word of the Day: GELID (18D: Icy cold) —

adj.
Very cold; icy: gelid ocean waters. See synonyms at cold.

[Latin gelidus, from gelū, frost.]

Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/gelid#ixzz1rUpj9J1w

• • •

What, no UMAMI phrase?

Not much to this one. First words related. I like SALTY LANGUAGE quite a bit. Everything else is just fine. Wife had never heard of GELID. I said it's one of those words I only ever see in crosswords, so I assume that's where I learned it. Nothing else in the grid seems out of the mainstream. I really don't like POLISH OUT (32D: Remove, as scratches on an auto), though it's clearly a real phrase. I'd've tried to make that POLISH OFF, though those Fs are hard to handle in a tiny corner like that. WINGSPAN (31A: It's about six feet for a turkey vulture) provides an interesting coincidence, as I am watching "Wings of Desire" tonight as part of my year-long Screening 1987 Project, wherein I watch nearly every movie that came out in 1987. Another movie that was part of this Project: "Superstar" by Todd Haynes, which tells the story of Karen Carpenter entirely with Ken and Barbie DOLLS (42A: Ken and Barbie). Also, I'm just finishing Patrick Rothfuss's "The Name of the Wind," which has featured at least one SMITHY that I can remember (46D: Horseshoe forger) (it's a big book).


No one should ever put "30 Rock" and "2 Broke Girls" that close together (including me) as they have nothing in common, funny-wise (40D: "2 Broke Girls" and "30 Rock"). Which is to say one is funny, and the other ... isn't. I know Bella ABZUG mostly because she makes a cameo in a Woody Allen movie, I think (22A: Former congresswoman Bella). I know NIELS Bohr (50D: Quantum mechanics pioneer Bohr) and INEZ (44A: Deadly 1966 hurricane with a Spanish-derived name) and MOOG (29A: Synthesizer designer Robert) and AMOS (2D: "Famous" cookie man) from years of doing crosswords. Actually, I know INEZ from my grandma (it's her name). BEDBUGS is creepily timely (10D: Mattress invaders). Wait ... are they still a problem? Haven't heard much about them since 2010. OK, I think that's all folks.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Tiny hollow cylinder / MON 4-2-12 / Virginia site of two Civil War battles / 2009 British singing sensation Susan / Big series name in auto racing

Constructor: Lynn Lempel

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: PLAY / BALL (25D: With 35-Down, much-anticipated cry every April) — last words of theme answers relate to baseball

• PORCH SWING (16A: Relaxing spot on a veranda)
• SMASH HIT (23A: Huge success at the box office)
• BULL RUN (37A: Virginia site of two Civil War battles)
• MUDSLIDE (46A: Hillside threat after a heavy rain)
• PIANO SCORE (56A: Sheet music for Van Cliburn, say)

Word of the Day: TUBULE (31A: Tiny hollow cylinder) —

n.
A very small tube or tubular structure.

[Latin tubulus, diminutive of tubus, tube.]

Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/tubule#ixzz1qq4MlsXa

• • •

TUBULE or not TUBULE? If that is the question, I'm voting not.

The MLB season officially started in March. In Japan.

It is true that my daughter started middle school this year, and she is in SIXTH GRADE (10D: Traditional start of middle school), but I don't know about this "traditional" stuff. My middle school started in seventh.

This theme feels like something from a long time ago. Can't believe a ends-of-these-phrases-relate-to-baseball theme hasn't been done a billion times before. Felt harder than normal, but my time fell almost exactly between my times for the last two Mondays, so, though it's a very small sample size, we're going with an average difficulty rating. Feelings lie. Numbers don't. The middle of this puzzle was more T/W than M. Big white space with the super-odd TUBULE and the slightly toughish BULL RUN (37A: Virginia site of two Civil War battles) and the "could-be-lotsa-things" SUBLIME (23D: Glorious). I had trouble with ANY OLD TIME (though it's now my favorite answer in the grid) (27D: "Whenever you feel like it"), and even more trouble with INDYCAR (41D: Big series name in auto racing). My brain was like "NASCAR? .... try NASCAR? ... is it NASCAR yet? ... how about iNASCAR, like ... from Apple?" Stupid brain.



Bullets:

• 6A: Girls with coming-out parties (DEBS) — because "confident and proud lesbians" was way, way too long.
• 37D: 2009 British singing sensation Susan (BOYLE) — so not my thing. I'll take AMY Winehouse (36A: Late singer Winehouse) over Susan BOYLE any day. 

• 58D: State north of La. (ARK.) — why in the world would you clue this as a state abbrev. (that nobody uses)???
• 34D: Bassoon relative (OBOE) — I'm listening to an OBOE version of Bach's "Partita in A Minor, BWV 1013" right now. Seriously. It was originally composed for flute:

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Lohengrin's love / MON 3-26-12 / Singer/actress Deanna of 1930s-40s / Violinist Mischa

Constructor: Ray Fontenot

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging (i.e. this was a Tuesday)

THEME: MOVING / VAN (7A: With 58-Down, vehicle for people on the go? ... or a hint to five strategically placed answers in this puzzle) — "VAN" "moves" thru five theme answers, diagonally, right thru the center of the grid

Word of the Day: Mischa ELMAN (5D: Violinist Mischa) —

Mikhail [originally Moses or Moishe^[1]] (Mischa) Saulovich Elman (Russian: Михаи́л (Ми́ша) Сау́лович Э́льман; January 20, 1891, Talnoye, Kiev Governorate, Russian Empire – April 5, 1967, New York, United States) was a Russian violinist, famed for his passionate style and beautiful tone. (wikipedia)

• • •

Very choppy for me, for a Monday. Flat-out didn't know two answers, which is more apt to happen to me on a Thursday or Friday than a *&^ing Monday. One of those answers, ELMAN, was particularly exasperating because it brought back memories of a messed-up clue from days gone by—specifically, from this puzzle, where [Violinist Mischa] was used to clue AUER, only *Leopold* AUER was the violinist, not Mischa. Mischa was an actor. Aaaaaaaanyway, ELMAN, eh? DURBIN, eh? (27A: Singer/actress Deanna of the 1930s-'40s) Ugh. OK. Not Monday fare for me, but OK. I love the long Downs on this one, but my main (big) problem with this grid is how invisible the theme answers are. There are so many other Across answers of the same length that they don't stand out. For some reason I find this phenomenally annoying. I'm impressed at how straight the VAN drives, but that's all I'm impressed by, theme-wise. The placement of MOVING / VAN is absurd. It's an OK puzzle, misplaced on a Monday.


Theme answers:

• 13A: Alternative to chocolate (VANILLA)
• 21A: Sir Walter Scott novel ("IVANHOE")
• 36A: Native of Cuba's capital (HAVANAN) — not your loveliest / most plausible adjective
• 49A: State of bliss (NIRVANA)
• 61A: Desert procession (CARAVAN)

Screwed up by going with LAMÉ over LACE (2D: Fabric that doesn't block much light). Got completely befuddled by 53D: Long-haired uglies (HAGS). Had H-GS and definitely considered HOGS. NEW ERA was like pulling teeth (18A: Time of change). I made up some time at the end because I knew the crosswordy stuff like ELSA (33D: Lohengrin's love) and DAKAR and NOOR. All in all, 1m 20s longer than last week's Monday, and just a few seconds shy of last week's Tuesday.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld